Monday, April 22, 2013

You want mirrion dorrar?

I clicked on this NYT blogpost on income inequality in the US, read the first few paragraphs, then closed it.  Reading more would have made me upset, and I'm trying to go for emotional stability these days. 

Why are we addicted to self-sabotage?  Is it because Americans love to identify with the rich, and while they're eating their Hamburger Helper and slugging a Natural Ice they imagine how they'll spend their future riches? Because they're cowboys that play by their own rules, and cowboy code prevents them from accepting "hand-outs," especially from the Government? Everybody, stop deluding yourselves!  You're never gonna be mega-rich.  Most of you will never even be sorta rich.  So increasing taxes on the rich will only benefit you.

I tire of the usual rose-tinted argument that the rich have a moral duty to pay more in the spirit of human solidarity etc.  Does anyone really buy that?  And even if you do, the rich always have a nice charity they can point to, as proof that they've already contributed more than their fair share to society.  This is a scam.

So let's unshackle ourselves from the slave-ideology that tells us what we "deserve" or "don't derserve."  No! Let's tax the rich the most possible for one simple reason: it benefits YOU.  Call it the tyranny of the majority if you want.  I'll call it altruistic egoism (collective egoism that benefits the whole), and it's certainly better than the pathetic self-flaggelation that the american poor and working-class seem to prefer today.

I know these are complicated economic problems, but when the mega-rich, an increasingly vocal group of economists, and, well, all of Europe think that considerably raising taxes on the rich is a good idea, maybe we can at least give it a try.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

three thawts

I was almost home when I decided to just stop on my street to enjoy the last few minutes of sun.  Why do I feel self-concious for doing something completely innocent?  Everyone looks sideways at a guy alone just standing on the sidewalk.  Weirdo.

I have a room mate that does a terrible job of rinsing the soapsuds off of the dishes before putting them in the rack.  He leaves serious mounds of bubbles on the glasses.  I ribbed him for it, but he laughed and said that a little soap is not going to kill me.  True, but in my life I try to aim a little higher than being not dead.

Last night Louis Szekely's new HBO special aired.  The beginning was lame but the ending was great.  Huh.  It's almost like he saved his strongest material for the last half of the show.  Here's a clip that's not from the new special:

I want to fuck your face. from Andrew Perrine on Vimeo.

Monday, April 8, 2013

A bag of lies

There was recently some hubbub in the potato chip world over the "Chicken and Waffles" flavor proposed by Lay's as part of their Do Us a Flavor ad campaign. My world-weary eye could not be impressed by this, since France has some of the most avant-garde potato chips in the West. Once you've had Oyster-flavored chips, it's hard to be shocked by much. But today I saw Truffle-flavored chips.  I had to try them out!

I hesitated before opening them. I can't say that I love truffles, and I was a little anxious about encountering their heady aroma.  I imagined what I would write about these chips: "Truffle-flavored chips smell exactly as you would expect - like semen."  Finally I poured myself a glass of wine, opened the bag, and... nothing.  No truffle smell at all.  I put a chip in my mouth.  No truffle taste at all.  I was astounded.

I tried to remember the last time I had been so let down by a potato chip.  Cheeseburger flavored chips do not taste like cheeseburgers, but more like cheesy pickles and ketchup.  But their addictive goodness makes you forget about the initial deception.  That's all I can think of.  Oyster chips taste like oysters, Caramel chips taste like caramel, Roasted Chicken and Thyme chips taste remarkably like the food they claim to mimic.  Truffle chips taste like vaguely smoky Salt and Pepper chips.

As I kept eating I tried hard to find the trufflish flavor.  The problem is, it's a flavor that's hard to mistake, at least for me.  Scientists have found that people react to the smell differently.  I don't believe I ever ate any chips from "Sibell" and I'm afraid these will be my last.